It's a Rocky Road to Happiness
by TwilighterAtHeart
Summary: Bella chooses Jacob over Edward which breaks his heart. But Edward promises he will be there if she changes her mind and he will love her if Jacob doesn't. What if Jacob hurts Bella? How will she respond and will Edward keep his promises?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or the characters in it. That honor is Stephenie Meyer's. (:

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_Chapter One: A New Start_

**Bella's POV**

I walked up the front steps as I dug my house keys from my pocket. It was raining again, typical weather for Forks, Washington. It had been only a month since I had said goodbye to Edward. I don't even know how I did it. But regardless, it happened…

********Flashback********

All I could see in my head was Jacob Black. After visiting at his home I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to choose between them. I knew this day was coming… but I was always so sure on my decision, but now I had completely changed it. I sat down on the park bench next to Edward trying to hide the pain in my eyes. But Edward saw right through me. "Bella, honey what's wrong?" His expression was confused, worried, and very anxious.

"Edward… there is something… I have to tell you. You are going to hate me…" I stared down at my hands not wanting to see his face.

"What is it Bella? You know I could never hate you." His brows turned down slightly leaving a crease in his forehead.

"Oh I'm sure you could." This was it… it was coming. I had made up my mind and there was no going back now. He knew there was something wrong so I couldn't change my mind at the last second. The words sort of just… slipped out, "Edward, I want to be with Jake." My eyes widen slowly as I said those words. I hadn't been sure of what to say and I had just blurted _that_ out. I glanced up as pain flickered through him.

"Are you sure?" He looked at me. His eyes were looking straight into mine. His beautiful, liquid, topaz eyes. I nodded slowly but I wasn't so sure of myself anymore. I had lost him once and now I was just sending him away? How insane was I? "Okay so you want me to leave?"

"No Edward that's not it… It's just… I want the opportunity to explore a relationship with Jake. You know, and I know, and he knows that I'm in love with him. And you also know how much I love you… but…" I didn't know what else to say and Edward saw that. "You hate me." My voice was barely a whisper.

"No Bella… I love you more than anything and if this is what you want then… so be it. But don't think that if he hurts you I won't be here. I will always be here… if you ever change your mind. I love you Isabella Swan… and I'll be watching." He stood up and kissed me one last time. He then kissed my forehead and was gone.

"I love you too, Edward…" My voice was quiet. This was my decision but I still felt the pain of a thousand heart breaks, I'm sure Edward was feeling a lot worse. I went home and cried. I must have cried for at least a week, but Charlie didn't say a word. He didn't ask questions or mention Edward. He just carried on with life but I knew he hated seeing me like this. I put on my coat and drove to La Push to see Jacob. _My Jacob_.

********End Flashback********

I turned the key and walked into the house. I shook my head with a small smile playing at my lips. Charlie was asleep on the couch, snoring of course, and there was a half empty box of pizza on the kitchen counter. That's Charlie for ya, 'If Bella isn't home, resort to pizza.' I chuckled softly and cleaned up the mess in the kitchen before shuffling into the living room to wake Charlie. "Dad, Dad wake up!" I shook him lightly, and with a snort he bolted upright. "Evening' sunshine," I teased.

"Hey Bells," he answered groggily. He rubbed his eyes before he spoke again, "So how was La Push?" He smiled wide at me. He was all too thrilled about the fact I was dating Jacob Black instead of Edward Cullen.

"Same as always Dad, It was fun." I rolled my eyes at him and he chuckled lightly. "Well I better get you up to bed before you pass out on the couch again." I stood up and pulled Charlie up with me. I half dragged him over to the stairs and helped him to his room, and once he was in bed I shut the door and headed towards my room.

I gathered up my toiletries and went to take a shower. The hot water felt nice on my skin, which felt unnaturally cool without Jacob's heat to keep me warm. I got out of the shower and pulled on some plaid pajama pants with a simple black tank top. I then brushed through my hair and put it into a messy bun. Just then I heard a low thud from my bedroom and I went to see what it was. It was Jacob! He was lying on his side across my bed with a huge grin on his face. "Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked in a whisper.

"What? I can't come spend the night with my girlfriend once in a while?"

"Not when your girlfriend's father is chief of police and keeps a gun next to his bed!" I said as I walked quickly over to my bed. Jake smiled and took me into his arms. I let out a sigh of contentment as his body heat started to warm my cool skin. His kissed my hair and I smiled. All of the sudden Jake wasn't Jake anymore, at least to me he wasn't. He was a beautiful bronze haired angel. I all but jumped out of my skin as I shut my eyes tightly. When I opened them again I saw Jake with a worried expression.

"Baby are you okay?" His eyes were frantic.

"Y…yeah I'm okay… just tired." I replied.

"Okay well you get some sleep now hunny." He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes waiting for sleep to take me. I soon fell asleep while Jacob's warm arms held me against him. I felt safe there, complete…or was something missing?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own any of the Twilight characters, Stephenie Meyer does.

_Chapter Two: A New Life_

**Edward's POV**

I sighed as I sat down on the same park bench I sat on one month ago. _One month._ That's how long it had been since I was with Bella; it has seemed like forever already. I remembered back to the day when she said the words that changed my life…

******Flashback******

I sat down on the park bench next to Bella. She seemed very nervous. She was trying to hide the pain in her eyes but I saw right through her, "Bella, honey what's wrong?" I was worried about her, confused about what she was feeling, and very anxious for what she was about to say. I hope she didn't notice…

She finally spoke, "Edward… there is something… I have to tell you. You are going to hate me…" She looked down at her hands. Was she crazy? I could never hate her, NEVER.

"What is it Bella? You know I could never hate you." My brows furrowed leaving a crease in my forehead. _Oh no… This is bad…_I thought.

"Oh I'm sure you could." She said quietly. Whatever it was that she was keeping from me… it was big and holding it in was hurting her I could tell. "Edward I want to be with Jake." Her eyes widen as the words just slipped from her lips. She watched me as the pain flickered through my body. _WHAT?! Oh no… oh no…Oh... No. This cannot be happening. _

"Are you sure?" I had to ask, she could be unsure about her feelings. Couldn't she? I looked straight into her eyes waiting for her reply. I wish I could hear her thoughts. She then nodded slowly. "Okay so you want me to leave?" Even if she did I wouldn't be far…

"No Edward that's not it… It's just…I want the opportunity to explore a relationship with Jake. You know, and I know, and he knows that I'm in love with him. And you also know how much I love you…but…" She didn't know what else to say. I understood. She did love Jacob… but I never knew it was enough for her to leave me… "You hate me…" She whispered. _Hate her? Never. _

"No Bella… I love you more than anything and if this is what you want then… so be it. But don't think that if he hurts you I won't be here. I will always be here…if you ever change your mind. I love you Isabella Swan… and I'll be watching." I stood up and kissed her one last time. Oh, I was going to miss that. I kissed her forehead—I was going to miss the feel of her warm skin beneath my lips—and I walked away. I almost turned around but I couldn't. I felt my cold, stone heart break and I knew in that moment that I wasn't giving up. Jacob would hurt her… he had to.

I went home to face my family. The pain I was feeling was plastered across my face. I explained to them what happened and they were… shocked. I shook off their 'I'm sorry's and 'Everything will be okay Edward's. I walked to my room and shut the door. About a week later I came out. I needed to be strong… for my family. I walked down the stairs to meet my new life. My life without Bella.

******End Flashback******

I stood up and started walking towards a familiar house. It was _her's._ I went to her house every night to watch her sleep. When I got to her house I heard her in her room with Jacob. _Great. The dog is spending the night. There goes my Bella time for tonight. _I so wished it was me up there with Bella right now. Holding her in my arms, kissing her soft, brown hair, watching her blush whenever I touched her… _Bella! Bella I need you!!! _I was screaming inside. I needed to get away from this house. At least for tonight. Jacob was here and I didn't want anything to do with him. I ran quickly from the house, I only looked back once.

I couldn't go to my house because I was constantly having my emotions fussed with by Jasper. I knew he was trying to help but for Goodness Sakes! I was sick of feeling "happy" when I was dying inside. Just then I knew where I could go. _Our place. _I ran through the woods and arrived at my destination quickly. The meadow. Our meadow.

I fell to the ground as my body was taken over by tearless sobs. I needed Bella back. She was MY Bella and the stupid, moronic dog had taken her from me! What if…. _That's it! If he imprints it will crush Bella's heart! All I have to do is wait. I don't want Bella to be hurting but… I wanted to be the one to comfort her. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this has taken so long. I was having a bit of writer's block. But here is Chapter Three. I hope you like it! ^^**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the rightful owner of Twilight and the characters within it.**

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_Chapter Three: Why is this Happening?_

_**Bella's POV**_

I woke up the next morning and Jake was snoring. I wonder how Charlie didn't catch him. I slipped out of Jacob's arms and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I sat on the floor of the shower just letting the hot water run down my back as I recalled the dream I had last night…

******Bella's Dream******

I snuggled into Edward's chest and sighed. It was a sigh of contentment. I had never felt this safe in my life. Edward was my life line; the only thing holding to this Earth. He was perfect and I didn't deserve him, even so, I had him. He was mine and no one else's. I looked up at him and smiled and he looked down on me with that crooked smile I loved. I giggled softly and touched his cheek. "I love you Edward." I laid my head on his shoulder and smiled.

"I love you too Bella." He replied, and the way he said my name made me shiver. "My sweet Bella…" He whispered. I took one of his hands in mine and stood up, pulling him up with me. He shook his head and chuckled as I started twirling around the room. He suddenly picked me up and spun me around in his arms before setting me back down.

I sat back down then, and he sat next to me. He stroked my cheek and I leaned my face into his palm. This felt so right, Edward and I together. Like we were destined to be with each other. But in this moment it didn't matter why, all that mattered was that he was here with me. Edward Cullen chose me.

******End Dream******

It was in that moment I realized I was crying. At first I thought it was only the water streaming down from the shower head. But oh no, I was crying. _Pull it together Bella! You are with Jacob now, forget Edward!_ Easier said then done. I got out of the shower and threw on some comfortable jeans and a long sleeve, thermal shirt. I walked back into my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed. Suddenly, Jake jolted upright and was growling at me. Once he realized who it was, and he saw the way I was taken aback, he stopped the furious rumbling noise emitting from his chest. "Sorry, Bells." He apologized soothingly. "I didn't know who it was." He smiled crookedly which made me think of the dream I had last night. A twinge of pain shot through my chest.

"It's alright Jake. I was just afraid you were going to eat me!" I joked. He chuckled and gave me a swift kiss on the cheek.

"I have to get going now hunny. I'll see you later."

"Bye Jake." I smiled softly at him. As soon as he was out the window and out of site I broke down. The sobs racked my body like a house in a tornado. _Edward, Edward, Edward! I __need__ you!_ Tears streamed down my face as I thought about the beautiful angel boy. The boy I had let slip through my fingers. How the hell could I let that happen? _Jake. Remember Jake, Bella._ That's right. I had done this out of my love for Jacob. If I love Jacob so damn much why am I crying over my lost love, Edward?

I tried to pull myself together. I needed to just calm down. I took long deep breaths, and by the time I was under control of my emotions there was a knock at the door. I stood up and walked downstairs. When I reached the door I opened it but there was no one there. I was about to close the door when I noticed a single sheet of paper folded neatly in half with my name on it. I noticed the hand-writing. It was _hi__s_.

I picked up the paper and shut the door. Before I unfolded it, I walked to the couch and took a seat in case my legs gave out. I flipped open the paper and it read in his perfect script: It's not too late to change your mind.- Edward.

I held back tears. He had heard, and possibly seen, me crying. That meant he was watching me. In a way, I was glad. Glad that he still cared about me. But in another way, I felt betrayed. I don't even know why, but it could be the fact that he was watching me and Jacob _together_. My glad feeling seemed to out-weigh the betrayal I felt. My insides were smiling at the thought that Edward had been watching me. I felt the tears run down my face again as I thought about this. Edward… Jacob… Hadn't I already caused enough damage? Now I'm considering doing more? No. No, that won't happen. I made a choice and I'm sticking to it. But… Edward…

Why is this happening to me?

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**Okay so what did you think? Sorry, this chapter is a bit short.**

**Please, please please review!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: **I do not own Twilight or the characters in it. I just play around with Stephenie Meyer's wonderful masterpiece. (:**

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_Chapter Four: What Have I Done?_

**Jake's POV:**

Last night had been amazing. I got to hold Bella in my arms all night while she slept; she cuddled into me, not _him._ It had only been a month since Bella left that nasty bloodsucker for me. I know it was hard for her but I couldn't help but taste the sweet victory on my tongue. He must be miserable right now. I mean who wouldn't be if Bella, the most amazing girl on the planet, left them?

As soon as I was out of sight of Bella's house and safely in the forest, I phased. I didn't hear anyone in my head. Good. I ran all the way home and phased. I walked into my small house and saw my dad eating a bowl of cereal. He didn't even say anything. All he did was nod in my direction with a smile on his lips. I had been gone all night. Oh well.

I went in my room and put on a different pair of cut off shorts and jumped out my window. I decided I was going to walk down the beach. I was bored and I heard lots of voices, meaning the beach was full. More fun for me.

As I walked along the beach, I started getting this weird feeling. I had never felt like this before. Not ever. It was like a magnetic pull. I walked towards where the force was pulling me and I ended up heading up the trail to the top of the cliff. This trail led to the lower part of the cliff where people went cliff diving.

I kept walking until I came to the end of the trail. That's when I saw her. She was flawless. When she turned around to see who had just come off of the trail our eyes met and something swept through my body. It was like an electric current drawing me closer to this girl. All my feelings for everyone else in my life vanished. I still loved them but they were no longer the most important thing. It felt as if this girl, this girl I had never seen in my life, was now my life. She was the only thing holding me to this Earth.

I stepped forward not moving my eyes from her's for one second. She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. I wanted to reach out and pull her into my arms but I didn't want to startle her. "Hello." Her voice was sweet, beautiful. "I'm Hazel Rothman." Her name matched her eyes, they were hazel. She had golden colored hair which went perfectly with her tan colored skin. She blinked once taking in my size and I thought I was frightening her, but then her expression softened when she took in the adoration I now felt for her. She could see it in my eyes.

"I'm Jacob Black. But everyone just calls me Jake." I flashed my pearly whites and she giggled. Her laugh… wow that laugh. "Well Hazel… this is going to sound ridiculous, and I hope you will give me time to explain this to you, but… I think I'm in love with you. No, it's more than that. I think I've… imprinted on you." Her expression went from shocked to confused to both. That's when I started in on the legends of out tribe and I told her what I was. She seemed to understand and when I finally finished talking she placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled. I sighed in relief.

**-6 hours later-**

I was shaking nervously as I walked up the Swan's front steps and knocked on the door. I had to tell Bella I imprinted and I was afraid. She had been broken once and then she gave up everything for me. Now I was just going to break her, just like the bloodsucker did.

As the door opened I saw Bella's smiling face. She was happy to see me. Not for long… Charlie wasn't home yet so that was good. Bella noticed my hesitation as I stepped inside and made my way to the living room. She looked at me with a worried expression on her face, "Jake is everything okay? Are _you _okay?"

"No Bella… everything is not okay." I frowned as she moved to comfort _me._ "Bella there is something I need to tell you… I don't know how to say it…"

"Jake whatever it is we will make it through this together. Just tell me what you have to say." She watched my facial expression as it changed frantically.

"Bella I… I imprinted today." My voice broke on the word imprinted. I saw her eyes widen and her face turned bone white. "Bella I don't even know how it happened. It's not like I meant for it to happen. I wasn't searching for her I was happy with you… but now it's hard to be away from her and…" I saw her tears welling up and my heart broke for her. "We can't be together anymore Bella. I'm so so sorry Bells." I saw her pain. It was plastered to her face. If it were possible I probably would have heard the break of her heart. _The second break._

"Jake… it's alright." I knew she was just being strong for me. " I love you still… I always will but… I think it would be best if you left my house for right now. I need… some time, Okay?" I could hear the hurt in her voice.

"Okay, Bells. Take as much time as you need." I walked over and kissed her on the forehead before turning and walking out the door. I think I heard her fall to her knees. She was sobbing.

_What have I done? What did I do to my poor, poor Bella. Not mine anymore…_

_

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**So what did you think?**

**Please Review!!~**

** 'TwlighterAtHeart'**


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter Five: Gone…_

**Bella's POV**

Two weeks. I had been alone two weeks and already the hole in my chest was eating me up inside. Jake imprinted… he imprinted! I know he didn't mean to but still… couldn't he try to ignore it? No of course he couldn't.

I saw Edward everyday at school. Everyday of those two weeks my heart was screaming out for him, but I was still getting over Jake. It wouldn't be much longer until I ran into Edward's open arms though. I was loosing it slowly.

I looked to the Cullen's empty table and sighed as I remembered to the night before…

******Flashback******

The phone rang loudly and I told Charlie I would answer it. I picked up the phone and before I could get even half of 'hello?' out of my mouth, Alice was running her mouth. "Hi Bella. It's Alice. I was just calling to let you know I am going hunting with Emmett, Rose, and Jasper tomorrow so we won't be in school." I was still best friends with Alice even though me and Edward weren't talking.

"What about Edward? He isn't going? Will he be in school?" Questions just kept pouring out of my mouth. I didn't want to give him any chance to talk to me… not yet.

"Bella, relax. Edward is staying home with Esme tomorrow. They never have any alone time and tomorrow would be perfect for it." I sighed in relief.

"Oh, alright." I heard Jasper talking to Alice, saying he wanted to get an early start. "I'll let you go Alice. See you soon."

"Bye Bella." After that, she hung up.

******End Flashback******

I was in biology when I heard my name come over the intercom, "Isabella Swan, please report to the office, immediately." The sound flickered and then was gone completely. I gathered up all my things and headed towards the door.

I reached the office and I met the secretary at the door, "Hunny you need to get home right away." The secretary seemed worried.

"What for? Have I done something wrong?"

"No, no hunny," she reassured me. "Someone called a few minutes ago and said it was urgent." This got me freaking out.

"Oh… alright then." I walked out of the school and to my rusty, old Ford truck. The tires squealed as I pulled out of the school parking lot and got onto the road.

The secretary's eyes had me really worried. I was contemplating what could be so urgent in my head when I saw the smoke. Lots of gray smoke filled the air. I tried to see where it was coming from and just as soon as I pulled onto my road I knew. My house… was burning.

I stopped my truck a ways down the road and jumped out. I ran as fast as I could, without tripping, to where the firemen were trying to put out the blazing fire. I could not believe my eyes. I looked around at all the police men trying to spot my father but I couldn't. Where could he be? I decided to ask.

I walked up to one of the men who came with the ambulance and asked him, "Have you seen Chief Swan? My father?" My eyes showed the curiosity I held as I awaited his answer.

The man's voice was quiet and I could barely hear him over the raging sirens, "He was gone when we got here." His eyes were sad. I didn't understand. Charlie was working today, why wasn't he with… oh no. Oh no! Today was Charlie's day off.

"What do you mean gone?!" Tears started to form in my eyes as I tried to think of what he meant.

"He… he was in the house…" The tears spilled over and my hands shook.

"You mean he's… he…" I looked at the man trying to see the real meaning behind his words.

"I'm so… so sorry."

"C…can I use… use your phone?" The man held out his cell phone to me. The tears continued to stream down my face as I dialed the number that had been stored in my mind for quite some time now.

The phone rang twice before I heard a sweet and loving voice on the other end, "Hello?" I was finding it hard to speak.

"E…Esme. Is Edward…t..t..there?" My lips were quivering and my hand was shaking the phone as I tried to speak as clearly as possible.

"Bella? Oh Bella yes he is here." I could hear the concern in her voice.

"Bella?" It was Edward's voice I heard on the other end.

"E…Edward. C…Ch…Charlie…" My voice was shaking and my teeth were clattering. My face was soaked from the tears I was still crying.

"Charlie? What about Charlie? Bella what's going on?" I heard the worry in his tone. It was very clear to me right now.

"He's… he is…. Gone." I choked on the last word as it finally sunk it. I couldn't believe it.

I heard Edward's, and then Esme's, shocked and pained gasps. "I'll be right there." The line went dead in the same moment I did. My legs gave out and I was on the ground. Shaking and sobbing. The whole ground seemed to shake with me but I knew it was only me. I caught site of something being put into the ambulance I had just been standing next to. A black body bag.

"No Daddy…" was all I managed to say. My words were only a whisper. In that moment I felt a pair of strong, cold arms pick me up.

"Oh Bella…" Edward's voice calmed me enough that I cried myself to sleep. I was clinging to him as if my life depended on it, because now Charlie's life was over.

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**Sorry it took so long to write this chapter, I was busy with school.**

**So, What did you think?**

**Please Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry about the wait on this next chapter. I've been really busy with school

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight**

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_Waking Up to a Changed World_

**Bella's POV**

I rubbed my eyes and rolled over. The sun shining through the window made me open my eyes. I smiled to see that Edward was laying beside me. I was in his room on a big white bed. "Edward." I couldn't help but notice he didn't smile back at me when I said his name.

"Morning Bella…" His voice was soft and concerned. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept good… except for the nightmare I had. Oh Edward it was horrible. I dreamt Charlie died in my house because it had caught on fire." I gasped. "Charlie! He is going to be so mad if I don't get home!" I started to get up just as Edward wrapped his arms around me.

"It wasn't a dream Bella…" Edward's cool breath was at my ear as he spoke. It was in that moment that I felt how dry my throat was.

"What are you talking about? Of course it was only a dream." I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and my throat seemed to be closing up.

Edward shook his head, "I'm so sorry Bella…" My body went limp. I held onto Edward and sobbed into my chest. He held me tightly against him, "My poor, sweet Bella." I heard the sadness in his voice. He didn't like seeing me like this and I knew that. I tried to pull myself together but I just couldn't. I sobbed for what seemed like hours before Alice came in the room.

"Bella…" I looked up at Alice and saw the utter sadness in her eyes. "Jacob called… He wanted you to know how sorry he was for what he did.. And for your loss. He wants to see you." Alice's words made me tighten my grip on Edward.

"Only… if Edward can come with me." My voice cracked. I wasn't planning on leaving Edward's side.

"Of course Bella." Alice nodded and left the room silently. I turned to look at Edward who stared right back at me.

"Come on Bella, Love." Edward pulled me up into his arms and carried me downstairs. We passed all of his family but I couldn't even look at them. I buried my face in Edward's face as we left his house. He sat me in the car and got in on the other side. As he started the car he took my hand and I laid my head on his shoulder. Tears streamed down my face as we started driving towards La Push.

I must have fallen asleep on the way because before I knew it Edward's lips were at my ear. "We're here love." As my eyelids fluttered open I saw Jacob running up to the car. Edward got out and pulled me with him. I wrapped my arms around Edward and cried into his chest again.

"Bella…" I heard Jacob's concerned voice. "Bella I'm so sorry… about Charlie."

"Don't say his name!" I screamed. "It makes it worse!" I sobbed harder into Edward's chest as I felt Jacob's warm hand on my back.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't know." I felt Edward tense.

"Edward what's wrong?" I asked. I looked up at him and he kissed my forehead.

"We can't stay long, Love." I heard Jacob make a disgusted noise. Apparently he didn't like that me and Edward were together again. "The wolves don't want me here." We started walking towards Jacob's make-shift garage in the backyard just as faint raindrops fell from the sky.

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**Review!!!**

The next chapter will be longer but I needed to get Jake in here again somewhere. The next chapter will probably be the funeral.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

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_The Funeral _

**Bella POV **

I sat on the shower floor with my knees pulled tightly to my chest. I let the hot water run down my back as tears ran down my cheeks. Today was the day I had to put my father in the ground. I had already been in the shower for 40 minutes so I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my trembling body. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to let Charlie go.

I dried off and slipped on my black dress. I laced my black converse up and stepped out of the bathroom. My hair was messy at the moment but I didn't care. I passed Alice in the hall on my way to Edward's room and she didn't comment on my hair. Once in Edward's room, I shut the door behind me and collapsed on the bed that had been set up for me almost a week ago.

Edward came in the room just as I fell and he wrapped his arms around me. "Bella hunny… I know you don't want to do this but… you have to." His voice was soft and caring. He was dressed in black as well.

"Edward…" I sobbed. "Don't leave my side… ever." I felt his arms tighten around me.

"I won't Bella. I promise." I continued to cry in Edward's arms.

**1 Hour Later**

I stepped out of the car with Edward and took a long, deep breath. We were standing in front of the church where Charlie's funeral would be held. I tried to hold back the waterfall of tears that was threatening to spill. A few tears slipped as I walked in the church full of people; Edward's hand in mine.

As I walked in the door, heads turned in my direction. Charlie's friends from the police station, people from around town, Mike, Angela, Jessica, and Ben, Billy, Jacob and his imprint. My eyes lingered there and I felt more tears slide down my face. Why on Earth would he bring her here?!

I closed my eyes and suddenly a new pair of arms wound around me. My mother's. She was crying but neither of us spoke. She took my other hand as me, Edward, and herself walked to the front row of the church. The rest of the Cullen family sat behind us in the second row. I tightened my grip on Edward's hand as I heard the church doors open again.

I couldn't hold back the mass amount of tears anymore as I watched five men carry in a casket. My father's casket. As the men walked in, Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton was playing. The men set the casket down at the front of the church. The priest didn't speak until the song had ended.

"Friends, family.. We are gathered here today not only to grieve, but to celebrate a life. A life of a man that we all held dear to our hearts. Charlie Swan. To some of us, he was a respected police chief, a friend, a man, but most importantly he was a father. He protected our town, cared for it, made it safe. If only we could have kept him safe. Today we all shed tears for our beloved friend, and we all feel sadness. Loosing Charlie, is loosing a part of ourselves. No matter what he was to you, he was important." The priest read from the bible and said a few prayers. Tears streamed down my face the entire time and I didn't let go of Edward's hand once.

"Charlie's daughter Bella would like to say a few words." With that, I stood up but didn't release Edward's hand. He stood with me and we walked to the front of the church. I needed him and he knew that.

I took a deep breath and tried to hold back the tears that refused to stop spilling. "I have a poem for Charlie. I speak from my heart… I will miss my father deeply." I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them I spoke. "Gone yet not forgotten, although we are apart, your spirit lives within me, forever in my heart. I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too, I think of you in silence I often speak your name. All I have are memories and your picture in a frame, Your memory is my keepsake with which I'll never part, God has you in His keeping I have you in my heart. No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye, you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why. I love you Dad." My voice was trembling and my hand was shaking.

You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban came over the speakers of the church. I stayed at the front of the church with my face buried in Edward's chest until the song was over. Edward helped me back to our seat. He kept his arms around me for the rest of the service. My mother was crying beside me, and I looked around to see everyone was crying from my words. I heard a tearless sob come from Esme behind me. Alice was holding onto Jasper tightly, her expression full of sadness.

The priest then recited a poem, "He is Gone. You can shed tears that he is gone, Or you can smile because he lived, You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back, Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see him, Or you can be full of the love that you shared, You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember him and only that he is gone. Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on, You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back, Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on." I felt like I couldn't cry anymore but the tears kept falling. "May we close with the Lord's prayer." We all recited the Lord's prayer and once we finished, In the Arms of the Angels played.

The five men that carried the casket before came up to the front of the church. They lifted the casket and began, slowly, walking out of the church with the music playing. Edward, Renee, and I walked behind them. We watched as they put the casket into a long black car and drive away towards the burial site. I got in Edward's car with him as we drove after them. As we drove away from the church, everyone else was exiting and getting ready to follow us.

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The next chapter will be the burial and after the funeral. Please Review.


	8. Chapter 8

Guys, I am sooo sorry for the delayed update. I've been so busy with basketball and school that I just haven't had the time. I also was sick for a week. But, in the meantime, enjoy this new chapter!

I do not own Twilight or its characters.

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_The Burial _

**Bella's POV **

I still couldn't believe this was happening. My father, my Charlie, my Daddy… was gone… forever. I couldn't help thinking I was to blame. What if I had been there? Watched over him? Done something… Would it have saved him? I was so thankful for Edward in this moment that I could cry, more than I already have. Thoughts kept rushing in my head as Edward drove the car to the burial site, as me and my mother sat huddled in the back weeping.

I closed my eyes and rested my head against my mother's shoulder. I didn't want to cry anymore. Before I knew it, we were at the cemetery. Edward got out of the car and helped me and Renee out as well. I instantly grabbed onto Edward, and he wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me steady.

It was a nice day, for Forks that is. It was cloudy, but no rain fell from the dark clouds overhead. I almost wished it was raining… no one would be able to see the tears that continuously ran down my cheeks. I kept looking up at the sky, hoping, no.. praying that Charlie was looking back at me. My lips trembled and I felt as if my knees were going to give out. Edward noticed the change and pulled me into his chest, cradling me against him.

I watched as the rest of the people arrived at the cemetery. They stepped out of their cars and joined us; the priest, my mother, Edward and I, and… Charlie. They gathered around the coffin in a semi-circle fashion. The priest looked at me with concern and sorrow evident on his face.

"Friends, we gather in this place to lay to rest a person. Not only a person, but a soul. A friend, a father, a lover… all of the important things he was. We forever will hold the memory of our dear friend, and never will we forget the deed he has done for us. For many years, he watched over our little town, he protected it. So now, in this place, Dear Lord, I ask you protect our friend. That you take him under your wing. May he watch over us in our time of mourning, and may he touch our lives in unseen ways." The priest bowed his head for a moment before looking back up to the crowd. His eyes mostly were with my mother and I.

The priest then began to speak again, as he did, the men began lowering Charlie's casket into the ground. "Dear Lord, may you take this soul and bring it to Heaven. Lord I ask that you grant him many things, for he has granted us many things. On this day, I pray to you My God, that you watch over our dear friend. Our Charlie." As Charlie's name was spoken, dirt was being thrown in on top of the casket.

I turned into Edward's chest and cried. His arms wrapped around me, holding me to him. I couldn't bear to watch anymore. I shrugged out of Edward's grasp and ran. I heard a chorus of gasps but I didn't care. I ran like I had never run before, never tripped or fallen before. I didn't once turn around but I knew Edward was sure to follow.

Once I hit the trees, I picked up my speed, knowing Edward would use full speed. I ran until I came to a meadow. A meadow of lilies. As I entered the meadow, I felt a pair of strong arms around my waist. I collapsed then, falling into Edward. I sobbed harder than I had when I found out Charlie was dead, harder than when Edward had left me last spring. I cried harder than I ever had in my entire life. "Bella, shh. It's alright. I've got you."

Edward's words, surprisingly, began to calm me down. I turned around to face him. I saw a look of pain wash over his face when he saw my condition. "Edward…" my voice cracked.

"What is it Bella?" Edward's arms instinctively tightened around me.

"I don't want to cry anymore.." I could feel my hands trembling harder now.

"I know Bella, in time you will heal." Edward's words were soothing, but that wasn't what I was trying to get across to him.

"No, you don't understand." My voice was a bit stronger, but not much. "I never want to shed another tear… again. Ever." I looked him in the eye, and I saw something click in his head. He understood now. "I don't want to feel like this anymore, Edward. It makes me unhappy." I looked up at him through my eye lashes, I watched as his features changed. He knew what I was getting at now. "Make me one of you." His eyes closed as I stared up at him.

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Soooo? What did you think. REVIEW!!


	9. Chapter 9

Okay, sorry for the really delayed update. I'm gonna try and be better at that. I know this is really short, but I had to give you something. The next chapter should be up by Sunday.[Hopefully!] Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through it all!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. What a shame :/

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_Make it Stop!_

**Bella POV**

Edward shook his head and a whimper escaped my trembling lips. "Please Edward!" I begged.

"No Bella… I'm sorry. I just… I can't. You just lost Charlie…" I stepped away from him as a sob racked my body. I hated it when people said his name. Why did they have to say his name…

"I don't care! I don't want to be like this anymore! I feel bad all the time, I can never stop crying, and my dreams are getting worse! I don't want to cry and I don't want to dream anymore!" I shook my head, turning away from Edward. Tears rolled down my cheeks; I couldn't contain them. I felt Edward's arms slide around my waste and his lips were at my ear.

"I know Bella… I know." He kissed my neck softly, which calmed me only slightly. "But not yet…"

"Edward…"

Edward let out a long sigh. "After graduation… We'll talk about it. I promise Bella, we will discuss it." With that, I let myself collapse in Edward's arms. I rested my head against his shoulder, letting the tears flow freely.

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_1AM that Night…_

**Edward POV**

I held Bella tightly to my chest. She was sleeping soundly for the first time since Charlie died. I was surprised at how well she was sleeping, seeing how his funeral had been earlier that day. I heard Bella take a sharp intake of air, and I looked down to see if she was alright.

I felt her begin to shake slightly against me, sweat beading on her forehead. _Here it comes… Another nightmare…_ I sighed, preparing myself for whatever was to come next.

I hated seeing Bella in pain; always waking up in tears and pure agony. It was so hard to calm her down, but somehow I managed. I couldn't help thinking about what Bella had said earlier. That making her one of me would stop all of this. That was true…but what if she didn't live through the--

No. I wouldn't let myself think about even the possibility of loosing My Bella. That's when I heard it. A loud scream coming Bella's mouth as tears streamed down her cheeks. I shook her gently, trying to wake her.

After a few minutes of shaking and calling her name, Bella opened her eyes. It looked like she couldn't even see me. "MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT STOP!" Bella cried. Her eyes filled with more tears as she buried her face in my chest.

I had to do something to help my poor Bella. I held her as she cried and kissed her forehead. She cried herself to sleep. I needed a more effective way to keep her from being in pain. I would do anything just to stop her suffering.

Maybe… I would have to do it Bella's way…

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**Review!!! 3**


	10. Author's Note

**_Author's Note:_**

_Hey guys!._

_I am sooooo sorry that I haven't updated in forever. I got my laptop taken away, so I haven't been able to get anything done.  
I will update as soon as I can._

_Thank you for sticking with me,  
'TwilighterAtHeart'_


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